Blue State Redneck March 8, 2006
That the average American Joe believes in the right of some numb-nut “artist” in New York or Los Angeles to ridicule his average American ideals, his belief in God, his concept of manhood, his (oh my) identity yet is considered a barbarian and a philistine for simply resenting the principle that he subsidizes said venomous ridicule, is pretty interesting in light of current events; wouldn’t you agree?
How To Simulate A Danish Flag Burning
Don’t get me wrong. I know the NEA only costs each of us the annual equivalent of a couple of postage stamps (USD), and I appreciate the notion that in the long run public stipends for extremely high functioning, emotionally damaged people are, in fact a wise investment. After all, just imagine if Ted Kaczynski had known that he could have been a god in the world of Art & Technology grant-writing. If only he’d been a bit too thick (or lazy) for the real science stuff.
I do though enjoy the “experience” of contemporary art. You know, all of those rooms, with all the cool stuff in them; things on the floors instead of the walls, cameras taking pictures, sensors sensing, projectors projecting, nerds collecting data. It reminds me of an enlightened zoo with that primate play-tool-environment vibe. “Tuesday’s viewing free at the MOMA.” “Wednesdays half price at the preserve.” You just never know which chimp’s shit might be wafting your way.
Speaking of shit, the NY Times, in a story on the Danish Infidels, omits the actual cartoons but republishes the image by the idiot who put elephant dung all over a crappy painting of the Holy Mother, in order - get this - to illustrate the “complexities” of journalistic free speech. This is not hypocrisy, as many have charged; it is just plain ol’ cowardice on the part of the Times. Less courage and fewer balls than the actual lives-on-the-line dumb jock sheriff types they parody each week. When Catholics are the sensible, tolerant ones we are in for big trouble my friend. Shame on the New York Times.
The New York Times Can't Connect the Dots
It is really no wonder that American newspapers have gone to shit. I mean after all, American journalists come from American universities, right? Schools where entire departments have deformed into Political Action Committees, dedicated not to the cultivation of knowledge but to propagandizing a distinct, narrow, partisan world view, to a captive audience, on the tax payer’s dime. Commies don’t have private schools and that’s the problem. 99.9% Che and 0.1% Adam Smith makes Jack a dull liberal Democrat. But even more alarming than the fact that so many of our educational institutions have devolved into anti-capitalist reeducation centers, is the fact that these neo-liberal imams just can’t fathom, much less tolerate, opposing views, no matter how informed or reasonable.
Ask Larry Summers about speaking truth to power.
All the Children of the World
The American Left can no longer hide the fact that their ends do justify the means, because they are righteous, which means progressive, which means not conservative. “Whatever It Takes!” is one hell of a rallying cry. Whether it’s lying about a constitutional right to an abortion, or gay marriage, or the empowerment of a gun, they illuminate their true contempt for Constitutional intent and the will of the people. They want the people’s voices to matter, so long as they’re not those of the Red State ignoramus.
FDR versa (visa) Bush
Don’t get me wrong, I’m pro choice. Hell, I’m pro abortion. Yes, put a god damned abortion clinic across from every high school in the Golden State. And I voted against Prop 22, the voter approved hetero-centric definition of marriage. But Mr. Mayor please, you’ve embarrassed yourself - which is not an easy thing to do in that City. If everyone has a right to marry someone of the opposite sex and no one has the right to marry someone of the same sex, you have the very definition of equal. Fourteenth amendment my ass.
Newsflash! Girls and boys are different. (BTW it was “men” who were created equal. “Hear ye, hear ye, the ACLU here by declares the Constitution, unconstitutional!”)
And now that you’ve aborted your future constituency, that bumbling decision will finally be overturned and Utah can restrict abortion to the victims of assault, Arizona to the first trimester, and Nevada can provide free on demand abortion at the Mustang Ranch Unified elementary school nurse’s office. Would that be considered post late-term or very early pre-term? But I digress.
God Bless the ACLU
Contemporary academics, “intellectuals” and members of the S.F. Board of Supervisors all publicly work to undermine the Evil Empire (the American one). Oh those waskily wepublicans! Is it any wonder that they stop short of real revolution, the sort that might actually affect their ability to suckle the juicy fruits of American Free Enterprise. The most prosperous, inclusive, fair system that 300,000,000 human beings have ever had access to and the Left feigns revolution. Never, in all the History of Man have their been so many fat revolutionaries, crying and whining all the way to the bank to cash that county check, or in the case of the hustlers, the corporate “donation”.
These are the cranks teaching young Americans that we cogs in the wheel of American prosperity are the fair targets of America’s enemies. They have absolutely no problem though lining their pockets with funds backed by the very same “empire” they purport to despise. No problem enjoying the infrastructure built with the blood, sweat, and brains of our forefathers and mothers. No problem relying on the treatments of the most advanced medical system in the world. No problem reading their retirement statements, inflating each year like the grades given student essays on the nefarious history of the blue eyed devil. No wonder they’re depressed and angry all of the time. That kind of subconscious dishonesty has got to be exhausting. How else can a Sierra Club Greeny drive a Prius to the airport on the way to a first class, jet-fueled Alpine ski holiday?
That is why they must try with all their might to change the subject when it comes to the Jihadi. They’ve constructed an entire ideology based on victim hood and suddenly their most sacred myth goes up in smoke, literally. No longer do those big, bad Christians, who go around trying to impose their orthodoxy on all of us by passing legislation (gasp!), seem like the same Fascists we’ve been hearing about for the past forty years. They don’t seem all that insane when you compare them to the actual loons who use dull blades to behead those guilty of being the wrong ethnicity. Not so bad when you see brothers stone their sisters to death for getting to second base with someone other then their betrothed first cousin. Not quite viscous when you see videos of people slowly run through industrial shredders because of their mildly, MILDLY liberal political views. Because as fucked up as Falwell and Robertson may be, they don’t use AK-47s to massacre Lutherans! Regular Americans get this.
Go (Go) Crusaders!
Imagine, for a moment, the Mi-Wuk freedom fighter slitting your nephew’s throat in a raid on the Ahwahnee Eco Camp for Kids. Not likely. The Indians I know love their country. Native American Studies professors (even fake ones) do not.* This land is your land – we got it.
* This Blue State Redneck is registered on the blood roles of the Cherokee Nation. Ward Churchill don’t need no stinkin’ badges…
Question: What is the only thing worse than an American Leftist ingrate?
Answer: A European one.
While those other freedom fighters burned Paris, Bernard-Henri Lévy bothered to ask how Americans deal with the “common nausea” caused by the “spectacle of a diabetic, blind, nearly deaf old man, pushed in his wheelchair to the San Quentin execution chamber in California?” (Hey Bernie, the only thing nauseating is the stench of your cities in summer time. How many more people have to die before Le République discovers air conditioning?) No mention of the crime. His concern is not with the victim. Lévy would give Milosevic time served. After all he’s been cooped up for like five years or something; a virtual double life sentence by enlightened European mores. Lévy cannot comprehend that the majority of the democracy loving men and women of this republic do not care that a monster is sick. It is the sadistic murderer indeed that deserves to be jettisoned from this life, flushed straight to Hell, with the rest of your medical waste. What he doesn’t understand is that Americans only care about the mistaken termination of innocent DNA. (Oh the subtleties of American common sense!) If the three-camera post office surveillance system captures the fiend in the act then it’s lights out man. We don’t care that you think the Machine made him do it and we certainly don’t care if they put panties on his head first either. Americans terminate twisted convicted killers. So no worries Frenchie, Algerian Nationalism will never be a capital offense in this country.
And just as the victimizer is actually the victim (unless he’s an Amerikkkan Republikkkan) in the topsy-turvy world of Continental bien pensant and her bastard child American Social(ist) Science (how many cultural-anthropology-studies-majors does the world really need anyway?), the unreported hate-crimes of September 11th 2001, represent “chickens coming home to roost.”
"Why Do They Hate Us?" !
“Why oh why do they hate us?” Well Mac, contrary to what you’ve been reading it’s not just the sixty-nine cent cheeseburgers, and it is not just “blowback” from the $5 barrel of oil that we pay sixty plus for. It’s that there ain’t no Mid East Pride parades outside the borders of Zion, and your post colonial poster child wants to keep it that way. Got it?
Theo Van Gogh was not, I repeat not on the CIA payroll. And those Hindu children, not CIA. And those headless Filipinas, nope, not CIA either. And those elderly Sudanese…
Yet the mantra continues ad infinitum. America: the imperialistic, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, etc, etc. Hey, Professor Boring, tell me, where on Earth are the world’s womyn judges of color? They’re not south of the Sahara are they sister? Janis Rogers Brown has a clitoris to prove it. Hillary wishes she could call Condi a house niece. Men can say whatever they wish about General Powell. Brown is smarter than they are, overcame more hardship; every minute detail of her life would be endlessly studied, celebrated, canonized, if only there were a “D” next to her name. But alas, there is not and she is not. “Diversity”, puh-leeze. Thomas Sowell is a devil and Hate Speech is the speech that you just can’t tolerate.
Condi Nude
Did you know that universities around the country have instituted speech codes? Actual speech codes at major American universities! I’m not kidding. College students, cussing, drinking, fucking in the halls, but quote Dirty Harry and suddenly you’re the vulgar one. Charles Darwin himself would’ve been expelled for his (racist) ideas, not by Evangelicals but by “Liberals” and their thought-police-enforced speech codes. Think about that for a second.
Hey numb skull - you have no constitutional right to high self esteem.
Bullies and Thugs Have High Self Esteem - Computer Nerds, Not So Much
And while we’re at it, did it ever occur to you that there ain’t a whole lot of diversity in the parliament of that pet-cause “republic” of yours? Hugo Chavez has troops on his borders to keep the illegal aliens out. Ha! Vive El Hombre. Why don’t you ask a Guatemalan migrant who has been beaten, raped and ripped off by the Mexican border patrol who “The Man” is?
That reminds me: The solution to two of America’s most vexing problems could be solved with one simple contract. Let Mexico lease Baja to Israel for the next millennium! Bring that silly wall over brick by brick. Is the sand really so different? Hell, bring the sand too. Just imagine: a Mexican state with jobs and the rule of law and potable water. No more undocumented (by the way undocumented means, like, you lost your passport. Illegal means, well, not legal) migrants to drive down the wages of America’s working classes. No more scapegoats for the incompetent Muslim ruling castes. No more subsidies for the apathetic, inept Mexican aristocrats who force their most vulnerable to flee the land of their ancestors. Caesar Chavez understood this and sent patrols to the border to protect the good old U.S. of A. from the deflating wages of seemingly infinite cheap labor. It’s true, look it up.
!Deconquista?
And by the way, why are brown middle class Americans subsidizing rich White Mexicans anyway? Rich White Mexicans shitting all over indigenous peasants and calling us “racist”. Rich indeed.
Maybe if Ron Gonzales knew that Chavez was really a secure-the-borders, Minute Man type he’d change the name to Plaza de Alberto Gonzales. Hey, do White liberals think Miguel Estrada’s children ought to be given a leg up over their own dumb kids? (And while we’re at it, La Raza does not include the Comanche, so go reconquista Malvinas, okay?)
It is American progressive ideals that they can not live with silly. George W and his wife go to church every Sunday and sing heart felt praises to the God of Abraham. You, my deviant, hedonistic friend are way, way further up the list than he.
And just because Western thinkers and Third World Holy Warriors both find Brittany problematic, is no reason to forgo the difference. You hate Brittany because she’s mind numbing. Osama just hates women (and queers, and Buddhists, and jazz musicians, and bacon bits, and…).
Three Score and One Dozen - Now That's Alot!
e-mail: bluestateredneck@bluestateredneck.com
